Since I've returned a lot of people have been asking me just how cold it was. Thanks to Ed, one of our great guides, I have a record of each day's temperature, so instead of saying, 'It was freeezzzing' I can be specific. For example, on March 31 when we walked along the Broughton Channel it was minus 20 with a 30 knot wind and overnight it was minus 25. In other words, it was Chilly Chops! In my diary, I managed to scribble, 'Woke up at 4.45 am and decided to go outside for the coldest pee of my life. I returned to the tent convinced my fingers were about to drop off. Picture frozen ice pops. I had a cup of tea and a bag of mueseli which everyone tried to get me to finish. We put on skiis for the first time and set off at 6.30 am.'
Everyone keeps asking me what the rehydrated food was like. Well, we melted ice and poured water into these bags of dried stuff and stirred it round with a spoon for about five minutes. I know you need calories in the Arctic but it was hard forcing myself to eat a bag of mueseli at 5 am. It tasted okay but I just wan't hungry at that time in the morning. To be honest, I tend to skip breakfast, but the boys wouldn't let me get away with it, telling me to 'Get those calories in.'
Now, I've touched on the practical matters of popping outside for a quick pee in the morning. Well, as those who've been reading this blog know, I went to great lengths to buy a Lady Jane and Little John pee device, which, if I felt confident or cold enough, would allow me to pee into a bottle inside my sleeping bag in the tent. I know this sounds uncivilised and inhumane but the boys were peeing into their pee bottles from day one and then chucking the contents out of the tent as if it was the most natural thing in the world. At night, you had to be careful where you looked. Before long, an Arctic veteran took me aside and advised me to stop messing around by going outside for a wee and told me to get to grips with my Lady Jane. This was a seminal moment. I was as cold as I'd ever been and as desperate for a pee as I'd ever been. I asked the boys to talk among themselves, I knelt on the ground in my sleeping bag, tucked my Lady Jane and Little Jane in the strategic position and prayed that I would not miss. Lo behold, Allelulia, I did it! I no longer had to dash outside minus 25 and freeze my butt off. The boys didn't appear to take any notice as they talked among themselves. I came to the conclusion that there was a certain amount of Arctic Etiquette. We were all living in such close conditions yet people did respect each other's space. The odd problem arose. For example, one member of the group accused another of stealing his pee bottle. The accused denied it vehemently clutching onto the pee bottle, only to discover his own pee bottle in his stuff bag the following morning. Oops! He was caught well and truly red handed.
Despite all these hardships there were many highs. In my diary I wrote, 'Today, out of the tent I have a stunning view of the mountains, but Susanna said, 'You Aint Seen Nothing Yet'.' Susanna had traversed the park three times so she knew what she was talking about - and I wasn't disappointed. In the next blog I will tell you why....
Everyone keeps asking me what the rehydrated food was like. Well, we melted ice and poured water into these bags of dried stuff and stirred it round with a spoon for about five minutes. I know you need calories in the Arctic but it was hard forcing myself to eat a bag of mueseli at 5 am. It tasted okay but I just wan't hungry at that time in the morning. To be honest, I tend to skip breakfast, but the boys wouldn't let me get away with it, telling me to 'Get those calories in.'
Now, I've touched on the practical matters of popping outside for a quick pee in the morning. Well, as those who've been reading this blog know, I went to great lengths to buy a Lady Jane and Little John pee device, which, if I felt confident or cold enough, would allow me to pee into a bottle inside my sleeping bag in the tent. I know this sounds uncivilised and inhumane but the boys were peeing into their pee bottles from day one and then chucking the contents out of the tent as if it was the most natural thing in the world. At night, you had to be careful where you looked. Before long, an Arctic veteran took me aside and advised me to stop messing around by going outside for a wee and told me to get to grips with my Lady Jane. This was a seminal moment. I was as cold as I'd ever been and as desperate for a pee as I'd ever been. I asked the boys to talk among themselves, I knelt on the ground in my sleeping bag, tucked my Lady Jane and Little Jane in the strategic position and prayed that I would not miss. Lo behold, Allelulia, I did it! I no longer had to dash outside minus 25 and freeze my butt off. The boys didn't appear to take any notice as they talked among themselves. I came to the conclusion that there was a certain amount of Arctic Etiquette. We were all living in such close conditions yet people did respect each other's space. The odd problem arose. For example, one member of the group accused another of stealing his pee bottle. The accused denied it vehemently clutching onto the pee bottle, only to discover his own pee bottle in his stuff bag the following morning. Oops! He was caught well and truly red handed.
Despite all these hardships there were many highs. In my diary I wrote, 'Today, out of the tent I have a stunning view of the mountains, but Susanna said, 'You Aint Seen Nothing Yet'.' Susanna had traversed the park three times so she knew what she was talking about - and I wasn't disappointed. In the next blog I will tell you why....
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