Arctic Belle Update

Since returning from the Arctic I've been rather busy and have only just updated the blog to give a description of our incredible journey across the Auyuittuq National Park on Baffin Island.
If you are new to the site I suggest you visit some of the older blogs first in order to follow the journey from beginning to end! You'll see how I went from being an Arctic novice, nervous mothert of two young children, to trudging 11 hours a day across dangerous icy terrain and camping on ice in minus 25.

After our 11 day walk I interviewed the Nobel Peace Prize nominee and Inuit activist Sheila Watt-Cloutier at her home in Iqaluit. She must be the most amazing grandma in the Arctic - and she also makes fantastic Arctic berry pie! To read the interview about her environmental campaigning click on:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,2154270,00.html


I have also just heard the good news that the Telegraph will be running the feature on our Baffin trip on Saturday November 3rd. There will be some fantastic photographs and possibly a tape-slide show by David Hempleman-Adams so keep a look out for that. You'll also be able to find out - Did we encounter any polar bears? Did anyone get any frostbite? How did we cope with the rapidly melting ice? How much weight did people lose? Would we do it again?

A lot of people have been asking, 'What's your next adventure going to be?'

As Amelia Earhart once said, "When a great adventure is offered - you don't refuse it."

I hope, after reading this blog, you'll realise why I didn't refuse this adventure.

The Last Day

Our last day was a 20 mile ski towards Pangnirtung. Lynne and I kept each other going. We were tired, oh so tired, but we shared Arctic thoughts and dreams and kept moving when the adrenaline was fast running out. I was sad to think that our Arctic Adventure was nearly over yet at the same time desperate for a shower and a decent meal.

As we approached Pangnirtung some Inuit children ran out to greet us and we gave them some sweets from our Munchy Bags. I immediately thought of my two children back home in England. Walking into a building was weird after ten days on the ice. The warmth hit me and that first shower was something else. Despite the length of time I stayed underneath the water I still didn't feel clean - however hard I scrubbed.

Larry, Lynne's husband, gave each of the group a phonecard - which was very thoughtful. I called Inuit activist Sheila Watt-Cloutier and, amazingly, she answered the phone and invited me to her house in Iqaluit for the interview the next day. Throughout the trip I had been hoping I'd be able to do this interview so was very relieved when she said, in a typical Canadian relaxed kind of way, come round.

The group spent the evening nursing various minor injuries - mainly to do with feet! Thanks to the experience of our leader we had no major injuries to report. We later heard that other members of groups crossing the park at the same time had suffered from frostbite. We had been in very good hands.

That night, as I lay on a bed for the first time in ten days, I felt sad the trek was over but excited to be meeting a Nobel Peace Prize nominee the following day. The walking was over..the talking was about to begin.

It may have been the end of our journey across this vast wilderness, yet I knew it marked the beginning of my passion for the Arctic.

Most Stunning Campsite View

Mount Thor sounds like it should be in The Lord Of The Rings. And, yes, there is something very dramatic about this Mount. It is one of the most distinctive landmarks in the park. The 4000ft cliff face attracts climbers from around the world. We were lucky to camp beneath the shadow of Mount Thor and wake up to the most stunning view.

Bubbles Suspended in Ice

If someone could create a perfect piece of art for me this would be it: bubbles suspended in ice. On Easter Sunday we stepped onto Glacier lake where I could not believe the vision below me. I peered down to see bubbles suspended in ice. I did a double take. The view was simply mesmerising as I crunched across the ice on crampons. After Glacier Lake we walked onto Summit Lake where the mountains hugged the shoreline. then it was into the Weasel Valley where we climbed down iced waterfalls and came face to face with open water. Once again, we made an unexpected detour which only added to the drama of the expedition. My brother offered to test out the ice/water but his heroic efforts were turned down. Thank God. I wouldn't want to lose my brother. Earlier on in the trip he thought he'd lost me when I went grey in the tent one night. He checked I was still breathing and, even though I looked like death warmed up, I was happily snoring away enjoying Arctic dreams

High Winds

Ohmygod, it's minus 25 and it's so windy I think I'm going to be blown away...and I don't really care. I later find out that we were suddenly hit by a 40 knot wind in minus 25. All of a sudden we were putting up tents and I was wondering which tent I should be in. I was too cold to think or express any kind of logical thoughts so what did I do? I swore. Ooopps. Thank God everyone else was swearing and trying to put up the tents. Afterwards, a member of the group, who shall remain anonymous, confided that he had loved this survival experience because he had wanted to taste real danger and excitement during the trip. Once we were safe in our tents that first mug of tea in front of a stove never tasted so sweet. Looking back, I remember being alone in the middle of the tent (because I was the smallest) as everyone struggled to get the tent up and then threw in their gear. I wished sometimes I was stronger. I packed each person's gear away in their corner and prayed we'd all get in safe and escape the winds. It was the most fantastic feeling when we were all in the tent, huddled around the stove, sipping tea. We had survived. We were there...each one of us was tired and cold. We'd been through this extraordinary experience together..we slept so well....

Capturing an Icy moment

The climb up to Glacier Lake gave us the most incredible view of flat-topped Mount Asgard which featured in the James Bond film, The Spy Who Loved Me. We were blessed with clear blue skies. Now, when I wake on a clear blue sky day I think to myself, 'This is a Baffin Day'. Only those who've been to Baffin will know what this means. We may have got up at a ridiculous hour in the morning, but the moment you see the blue skies and the white landscape enveloping you all around life is definitely worth living. Sometimes, the scenery takes your breath away. No time for words. I remember just thinking...if I could capture this moment, this scene forever, that cold night will have been worth it....

Patterns in the Snow

My God, it was cold. So cold, my eyelashes froze. So cold, my hair froze in horrid clumps. But, guess what? I was deliriously happy. Why? The landscape was simply stunning. As we progressed up the fiord the scenery got more dramatic - the cliffs and mountains loomed large over us as we were funnelled into the frozen Owl River. I never imagined there could be so many different shades of white or blue, or so many patterns in the snow. As time wore on, we grew more acclimatised to the low temperatures which averaged minus 25. Hmmm. We adopted the buddy system where we checked each other for white spots, the first signs of frostbite. If I couldn't feel my fingers, which happened most days, I learned to tell someone and start clapping my hands like a mad woman! I grew used to frozen eyelashes and clumps of ice stuck in my hair. To tell the truth, I really didn't care what the hell I looked like.

Slushy Moments

On Day Three we walked straight into some slush as we approached the mouth of the North Pangnirtung Fiord. Our guides went ahead and looked in different directions for a way around this dangerous area. We lost a couple of hours with detours (and added a few more grey hairs) but we eventually made it around. At the end of our trek, we found out that another group had failed to get beyond this slushy area and had turned back, after three days, putting an end to their expedition. Nightmare. I was cold, I was nervous, but I knew we were in safe hands.

My First Night On Ice

I will never forget my first night camping in the Arctic and the shocking realisation that I was sleeping on ice. There were eleven in the group and we shared three tents. Being the smallest, I was thrown into the tent first and my job was to put everybody's belongings in separate corners.

I tried to be tidy but my brother complained that my stuff was everywhere! I had three pairs of gloves and keeping track of them was very hard in the beginning. "Has anyone seen my glove? I'd ask. To be honest, everyone else seemed to be searching for something or another and eventually we found what we needed, ate our rehydrated food and fell into an Arctic coma.

Despite the top of the range sleeping bag and the fact I was fully dressed (in three layers of clothes) plus balaclava and hat, I couldn't stop shivering. I had imagined nights would be peaceful. instead, all i could hear was the sound of snoring and the wind raging. In the morning, my sleeping bag was covered in crispy ice and my gloves were frozen. It was minus 30. I stuffed my chemical handwarmers into my gloves and prayed for some warmth. Once we'd packed up camp and set on our way, the clear blue skies and ice capped mountains ( a cliche, but true) made up for the blistering cold. Our destination was the Twin Peaks mountain on Qukiavik Island. We walked in a line and each hour we had a munchy bag stop when we ate some treats and sipped some water or juice. Eating and drinking in minus 25 is an art in itself. In the beginning I was all fingers and thumbs dropping gloves, tripping over my skiis, getting chilly within a matter of minutes. But at each munchy bag stop I became more experienced at stuffing my face with the most chocolate I could manage in the shortest amount of time plus gulping down some juice. I had to be quick or my fingers would freeze. I was often told to start walking as soon as I'd eaten in order to avoid frozen finger syndrome when my fingers were too cold to hold the skiis. Not nice. I love playing the guitar and writing so the thought of losing any fingers was simply awful.

After walking for 11 miles we set up camp, exhausted after our first long day. Exhausted. You can only understand the meaning of the word 'exhausted' when you have walked across ice in minus 30 and you are wondering, 'What the hell am I doing here?'

On Our Way

I woke at 5.30 am and peered outside the hotel window to see if the blizzard had gone. There was snow everywhere but no sign of any raging wind. All our sledges were packed and we were ready to go. I was apprehensive but didn't fancy waiting another day in the Discovery Hotel in Iqaluit. We ferried the sledges to the airport and were relived when we found out that the flight was due to leave at the scheduled time. It was the smallest plane I've ever flown in and when the pilot walked past me he didn't look old enough to drive a car let alone a plane. I managed to get a window seat and spent the flight looking through the clouds down at the icy landscape. I felt as if I was flying to the edge of the world. There was no sign of any life below, just a large expanse of white. It was mesmerising. Our first stop was Pangnirtung where we had to leave the plane and wait in the small airport lounge. Well, it wasn't really a lounge, just a space with some chairs. I got chatting to some Inuit women and they painted a depressing portrait of life in Pang - as it is known. One said that 70 per cent of the population hunt, but that hunting is increasingly hard. This is due to the fact that the sea ice is changing so rapidly that they are having to travel farther and farther afield for any wildlife such as caribou and seal. Before I'd embarked on the trip I'd spoken to an Inuit Hunter at the Pangnirtung Hunters Association who had told me that the hunters were facing a lot of problems in the area due to the melting sea ice. Experienced hunters could no longer read the state of the ice and were having accidents. He also told me that they had killed a Polar Bear that very week.
After our short stop at Pang, we flew on to Qikiqtarjuaq (Broughton Island), the start of our trek. But before we could go anywhere we had to go to an 'orientation' with the Park Ranger.
The subject turned to Polar Bears again. As I sat there listening to the ranger's advice on what to do if we saw a Polar Bear I couldn't help but wonder whether I was in the middle of a dream, or nightmare. We were warned that Polar Bears might carry Rabies which was one of those additional facts I wish I had not been told. While we weren't allowed to carry a firearm we were advised to take some Polar Bear flares which sounded rather like a token weapon. The fact my brother is in the police and knows how to handle firearms meant he could have been the perfect Polar Bear assassin. But I also know he'd come to the Arctic to escape violence and crime. Before we left I handed him a newspaper cutting detailing the high levels of crime and violence in Nunavut. He pored over the figures like the true expert he is, pointing out the high crime and suicide rates among the remote communities such as Pangnirtung and Broughton Island. It was strange to think that only a few days before we'd been in the comfort of suburban England and there we were on the edge of the park...

Frobisher Bay

Last night I dreamt I was at Frobisher Bay. I was trying to walk on the frozen sea ice. I couldn't see as my goggles steamed up and I couldn't breathe because I wore a suffocating black face mask. I tore off my goggles and mask and saw that the others were walking slowly ahead of me. They looked like astronauts on the moon wearing bulky windproof outfits, walking in slow motion on the white lumpy surface. Ahead of us were several ships sitting on the sea ice. Forlorn. They looked as if they could have been on a film set. This didn't look like the real world. We saw a sledge and some huskies tied up. My brother wanted a photograph of me by the sledge but I was struggling to walk, let alone pose. This was our first day in Iqaluit. A blizzard had meant our connecting flight was cancelled and so we had the afternoon to explore Frobisher Bay. It was like diving straight into a freezer - and staying there. My Baffin boots felt heavy and I was nervous I'd go through the ice. We were out for less than an hour when we turned back to the hotel. I trudged into my room and buried my head in my hands. How on earth was I going to manage to walk for ten hours a day in minus 25 during our trek across the Auyuittuk National Park? I later found out that there is such a condition as Arctic Shock and suspect that I was suffereing from it at that moment. As one of the novices in the group I had never been so far north or anywhere so cold. I had never been on an expedition and hadn't been skiing for ten years. Luckily, I was sharing a room with the lovely Swede, Susannah, one of our guides, who had been on previous trips to the North Pole and across Baffin Island. She said all the right things about it being 'bloody freezing' and bound to feel odd taking those first baby steps on sea ice. Before long, we were eating the chocolate out of our munchy bags and sipping some brandy - to give us strength, of course. I felt safe back in the warm, but worried that I might let the others in the group down if I couldn't somehow get my Arctic act together. Later, someone confided in me that it had been tough out there, the big white, and that it was a good thing our flight had been cancelled so we had an extra day to acclimatise. So much white, it gave me a fright. But it wasn't all bad and I have to admit that there was something alluring about the expanse of snow, the frozen sea, the blistering wind. This was the beginning of the adventure - and over the next few blogs I will recount the rest of the trip to you...

Best Journey In The World

On Sunday night, I was glued to the TV watching The Worst Journey In The World. This followed the tale of Bill Wilson, Birdie Bowers and Apsley Cherry-Garrard who crossed Ross Island to retrieve penguin's eggs. They later laid supplies for Scott's failed attempt to reach the South Pole. The drama brought back many memories of my trip across Baffin Island. Watching the men pull sledges across the ice in freezing cold temperatures, I thought, 'I've done that'. Admittedly, their sledges looked a lot bigger but, even so. I found myself examining the amount of ice on their hats and clothes which transported me back into my ice-coated kit. Brrrrr. My balaclava froze on my face and I really did think I was going to get a frostbitten nose. I wriggled it as often as I could to avoid losing it.
On his return, Cherry-Garrard said, "Polar exploration is at once the cleanest and most isolated way of having a bad time that has ever been devised."
Admittedly, we weren't attempting to reach either Pole but at one point we were told, 'This is North Pole weather'. A cheerying thought when you can't touch your ice-coated eye-lashes for fear they will break. Back to the words 'cleanest and most isolated' - I remember one person on our trip marvelling that they had never before seen so much virgin snow. As we looked in the distance all we could see was an expanse of bright white, sparkling snow and ice. Pure. Clean. Untouched. It was a remarkable sight. It took my eyes a while to grow used to the intensity of the white and the light. Now to the word 'Isolation'. There was a sense of isolation as we only met a couple of Inuit hunters during the twelve day trek. But that was a good thing. I don't think anyone in the group would have been pleased to have bumped into another crowd. The fantastic thing about this whole experience was the fact we didn't encounter any Westerners at all. No tourists. No mobiles. No make-up. God, I was worried, but then it was so cold I forgot all about lipstick. Luckily, my whole face was covered most of the time aside from my eyes.
We often walked in single file pulling our sledges behind us so there was plenty of thinking time. How often does anyone get that? From time to time someone would walk beside me, check I could feel my fingers, and then move on. As the days wore on, the conversation went from 'Can you feel your fingers?' 'Are you warm enough?' to 'Do you fancy the North Pole next year then?' Ho, ho, ho. The truth is, I felt as if I was in an Arctic wilderness but I didn't feel isolated.
Despite adversity, the group who went across Ross Island 'kept our tempers even with God'.
It may have been minus 75 but they did what the British do very well and kept their chins up. The upper stiff lip and all that.
The image of one of their group's frostbitten fingers brought a lump to my throat. Then, when another lost all his teeth it looked ghastly.
It struck me on our trip that there is such a thing as Arctic Etiquette. People were very polite and kind even when up against it. However, I am no Arctic Angel and had a few Arctic Moments. The worst was when it was minus 50, blowing a hooly, and we suddenly had to put up our tents. I lost it...ever so slightly. Afterwards, one member of the group said he'd loved it when that happened. Not when I lost it, but when we had such extreme conditions. That's what he'd wanted to experience in the Arctic. I mean, what would be the point of going all that way and simply having 'A Walk in the Park'?

Munchy Bags

Before the trip we were told to pack mounds of high calorific foods for our munchy bags which we'd munch on every hour. This was an open invitation to eat whatever we wanted over the twelve days trek. 'A girl's fantasy!' one of the women said. Clearly, on an Arctic expedition it was essential to 'Get those calories in' to ensure one had loads of energy to walk at least 10 miles a day over icy terrain. Most of my life I admit I've been victim to the calorie counting culture so this was a wonderful opportunity. For once, I could eat as many calories as I wanted as opposed to cutting calories. So, I dreamed up the most delicious munchy bag ever. I bought dairy milk chocolate brazil nuts, toblerone, chocolate raisins, Terry's chocololate orange segments, matchmakers and some chocolate Kendal mint cake. I found some exotic dried fruit, honey roasted cashew nuts, salted peanuts, dried kiwi and apricots. Little did I know that after two days of this stuff I would want to retch every time I reached into the bag. Is it really possible to eat too much chocolate? Yes. Honestly. It wasn't long before I found myself salivating over everyone else's munchy bags. For example, I have never in my life had a craving for pork scratchings, and suddenly in the High Arctic I am dreaming of the stuff. The more fattening the better. Malt loaf and butter. Yum yum. Someone actually had the foresight to put some in their munchy bag. Now, that is precisely the kind of food you want after clambering up an iced waterfall in minus 25. Not a chocolate brazil nut. Before long, we all found ourselves swapping treats from our Munchy Bags. My brother even packed jelly babies. Delicious. Sadly, he had a sore throat for a few days and was unable to eat the chunks of chocolate in his munchy bag so I did my best to help him. He thought the sore throat was frostbite of the throat but he was unable to prove this. He lost a stone in weight during the trek which was pretty impressive.
I'm not saying how much weight I lost - yet, but the main benefit has been discovering muscles I never knew existed and feeling fitter than I've ever done. That means there are plenty of good reasons to go on an Arctic Expedition. To name a few, 1) You get to eat whatever you want 2) You tone up 3) You feel fit 4) You can never complain of feeling cold again 5) You can let your imagination go wild. When you walk for long periods of time with only your own thoughts, it's a recipe for madness. As I crunched past snowy coated rocks they reminded me of chocolate muffins covered in icing sugar. When I looked in the distance and saw several members of the group dressed in red windproof outfits, walking across a glacier lake, I thought of strawberries in a meringue case with whipped cream. Mmmmm.

No Mobiles, No Washing

The moment we landed in Iqaluit we were wandering around in a state of Arctic Shock. Firstly, the freezing cold air literally took your breath away, and secondly, our mobile phones didn't work. I could see the shocked expressions on people's faces as they checked their phones. Not least my brother's! He is usually tied to his mobile phone. The funny thing is, he says I'm always on my mobile, but I can assure you he is ALWAYS on his mobile. The fact he is a 'senior police officer' means the sort of calls he takes are usually 'Top Secret'. He usually walks several feet behind me when he's on the phone and I respect the distance. What else can I do? He could be talking to a Hit Man! Well, in Iqaluit, it was the first time since mobile phones were invented, that we've spent time together without a mobile phone getting inbetween us. He looked at his phone and shook his head. A day later he was still convinced the phone was ringing or vibrating in his pocket. This is what you call MPA (Mobile Phone Addiction). Being in the Arctic was a big challenge. For all those addicted to mobile phones it was a bigger challenge.
Within a day, the other bizarre realisation I had was - I did 'No Washing'. Having two young children means I am always putting washing loads on. Well, on our trek there were a) no washing machines (phew) and b) no washing. I have to admit while away I didn't think a moment about the state of the laundry basket, but now back at home I am always wishing there was nothing in it. Like most women in the country. Back to the personal hygiene. Several people have asked me about this. How did you clean yourself? Well, we didn't wash for 12 days. Fact. We had no showers or baths. Did we smell? Yes. Except no-one admitted it. We were told not to use deodorants as this would clog our pores up. But, I caught one of my fellow trekkers rolling it on one morning and felt a stab of jealousy. I have one big confession. I took some Clarins lotions as a 'feel good factor' but they froze! One night, one kind man defrosted them in a pot of boiling water and I squished the hand lotion into my nearly defrosted fingers. I can't tell you just how good it felt. It may have been be minus 30, wind chill 50, but there's nothing like a little pampering to lift your spirits!

Footprints on the Snow

We hit the first slush on the trip early on. Day Two. This scared a few members of the group - me included. We then walked on solid ice. Crunch, crunch, crunch. How do you trust it won't crack and you disappear with your sledge pulling you down, down down? You just have to trust. We walked in a line. Occasionally, someone would turn around and say, 'Big hole there!' and you'd walk around a dip in the ice. Once or twice, or maybe three times, I fell down into the ice up to my knee. Thankfully, the ice didn't get into my boots - or I might have got a frostbitten toe. Ouch! Even so, it took your breath away every time it happened. I was then advised to walk in someone else's footprints so I started doing this - when we were on the sort of snow you could see foortprints. Being the smallest in the group, I had trouble keeping up with old Big Foot - whoever he was. He certainly had long legs and big feet! However, there is something VERY reassuring about walking in someone else's footprints - or snowprints. Once I built up some confidence in simply walking on ice I looked around me at the scenery. Breathtaking - is the only word I can use to describe it. My sunglasses steamed up, so I peered out over them. It was like I had suddenly been transported to the Ice Age - and we were the remaining survivors - struggling to find civilisation. Okay, it may sound dramatic, but after walking for ten hours a day I found my imagination did get carried away. The guide book said we would 'encvounter many remainders of the ice age and its continuing efects' so it wasn't just my imagination. We saw glaciers, rock debris spread across the valley floor, all types of moraines, boulders...and lots more. I was looking around in awe trying to memorise the landscape and think of ways of describing it. Then, when I missed my step and fell flat on the ice, I realised I had to concentrate on walking on all the different sorts of ice and snow we encountered. Inside my head I was singing that Police song, Every Breath You Take: 'Every breath you take, Every move you make, Every bond you break, Every step you take, Ill be watching you...' Other people said they sang to themselves too. Maybe it had something to do with the rhythm of walking? Maybe I was going mad?

Arctic Shivers

Since I've returned a lot of people have been asking me just how cold it was. Thanks to Ed, one of our great guides, I have a record of each day's temperature, so instead of saying, 'It was freeezzzing' I can be specific. For example, on March 31 when we walked along the Broughton Channel it was minus 20 with a 30 knot wind and overnight it was minus 25. In other words, it was Chilly Chops! In my diary, I managed to scribble, 'Woke up at 4.45 am and decided to go outside for the coldest pee of my life. I returned to the tent convinced my fingers were about to drop off. Picture frozen ice pops. I had a cup of tea and a bag of mueseli which everyone tried to get me to finish. We put on skiis for the first time and set off at 6.30 am.'
Everyone keeps asking me what the rehydrated food was like. Well, we melted ice and poured water into these bags of dried stuff and stirred it round with a spoon for about five minutes. I know you need calories in the Arctic but it was hard forcing myself to eat a bag of mueseli at 5 am. It tasted okay but I just wan't hungry at that time in the morning. To be honest, I tend to skip breakfast, but the boys wouldn't let me get away with it, telling me to 'Get those calories in.'
Now, I've touched on the practical matters of popping outside for a quick pee in the morning. Well, as those who've been reading this blog know, I went to great lengths to buy a Lady Jane and Little John pee device, which, if I felt confident or cold enough, would allow me to pee into a bottle inside my sleeping bag in the tent. I know this sounds uncivilised and inhumane but the boys were peeing into their pee bottles from day one and then chucking the contents out of the tent as if it was the most natural thing in the world. At night, you had to be careful where you looked. Before long, an Arctic veteran took me aside and advised me to stop messing around by going outside for a wee and told me to get to grips with my Lady Jane. This was a seminal moment. I was as cold as I'd ever been and as desperate for a pee as I'd ever been. I asked the boys to talk among themselves, I knelt on the ground in my sleeping bag, tucked my Lady Jane and Little Jane in the strategic position and prayed that I would not miss. Lo behold, Allelulia, I did it! I no longer had to dash outside minus 25 and freeze my butt off. The boys didn't appear to take any notice as they talked among themselves. I came to the conclusion that there was a certain amount of Arctic Etiquette. We were all living in such close conditions yet people did respect each other's space. The odd problem arose. For example, one member of the group accused another of stealing his pee bottle. The accused denied it vehemently clutching onto the pee bottle, only to discover his own pee bottle in his stuff bag the following morning. Oops! He was caught well and truly red handed.
Despite all these hardships there were many highs. In my diary I wrote, 'Today, out of the tent I have a stunning view of the mountains, but Susanna said, 'You Aint Seen Nothing Yet'.' Susanna had traversed the park three times so she knew what she was talking about - and I wasn't disappointed. In the next blog I will tell you why....

Arctic Belle Returns To Blighty

I'm back, but have been suffering from Arctic Shock in reverse. I returned on Friday, all digits intact. I wanted to update everyone on my expedition immediately but somehow two children and hundreds of emails got in the way. Also, if I'm honest, I didn't know where to start. So much happened in so few days - twelve to be exact. I travelled to the other side of the world and walked 150 miles across dangerous icy terrain. I guess I was also very tired! I experienced the most extreme conditions I have ever known. To give you an idea, I'm talking fffffffffffffffffffreeeeeeeeeezzzzzing cold and very windy. So cold, the thermometers didn't work. Okay, for all those who want hard facts, I'm talking an average of minus 25. Yikes! Even the organiser said he hadn't expected the temperatures to be this cold. My fingers nearly dropped off - honest. If it wasn't for chemical handwarmers I would be digitless! In truth, if it wasn't for my team mates then I wouldn't be here today. When I was shivering and hyperventilating in my tent someone (my brother) calmed me down. When my thumbs were ice pops someone stopped and rubbed them. When my sledge was too heavy someone lightened the load. When I felt like crying someone made me giggle. And then the giggling took over...and the trip became one extraordinary giggle and an adventure of a lifetime. What else can you do but laugh in such circumstances? When the wind chill was minus 40 you have to take shelter. A harsh but beautiful environment. Every day, my eyelashes were coated in ice and my hair had clumps of ice hanging off it. Every day, I saw a new pattern in the ice, a different shade of ice: blue ice, grey ice, bright silky white ice, chunks of blue ice, ice sculptures. Amazing light. Clear blue skies and crystal clear light. I have never seen such a beautiful bright light before. My sunglasses and goggles steamed over, but I still peered out in complete astonishment. It was at risk of getting snowblindness but, hey, I didn't care. So, as I begin to take stock I promise to update you on my trip, the highs and lows, the Arctic Dreams and Arctic Nightmares. Be aware that this blog started off in a lighthearted manner (pee devices, silly clothes, munchy bags packed full with chocolate etc) but I want to tell you all about the Inuit hunters, the Nobel Peace Prize nominee, Sheila Watt-Cloutier, who invited me into her house, and the warm friendships developed between a group of strangers struggling to survive in a hostile environment. It was far more than just a walk in the park. On my return, my five year-old boy, Joe, said my arms looked like Bambi's legs. People have been saying how toned I look - and I know I have lost a few pounds. But size really doesn't matter. Believe me, girls. What's important is I have experienced another world. Some people call the Arctic a Dreamland and nowI understand why. Keep reading and I will tell you what happened, how I coped and why I miss the silence...

Going Nowhere

Our bags and sledges packed and my first cooked breakfast in months. As we were about to head for Iqaluit Airport we were told that our plane had been cancelled due to the blizzard. Apparently, we could probably have taken off okay but the landing would have been tricky. We were holed up in Iqaluit, the capital of Nunavut. The Arctic is unpredictable, we were told, we would just have to sit tight and wait for the storm to pass. Dressed from head to toe in all our layers including Father Christmas outfits we decided to go for 'a little walk' to Frobisher Bay where the huskies hang out. We were told to follow in each other's footprints. I stuck my foot in the snow and it disappeared up to my knee. "Is this sea ice?" someone piped up. "Yup, just go nice and slow." I was walking on sea ice. I had a feeling that I was on the moon - white everywhere and people walking in slow motion in large space suit type outfits. I could barely see as the blizzard worsened. Next minute, our group's leader, David Hemplman-Adams, slipped over and fell flat on his back. I didn't see how this happened as I was too busy trying to concentrate on breathing through a black SAS style face mask. One minute he was walking and the next minute he was lying on the ice. Ouch. He got up before I could blink. "Are you okay?" I asked. "No problem. The funny thing is, I walked all the way to the North Pole and not fallen over once." He shook his head. This walking on ice is going to take some getting used to.

Have You Been This Far North?

After our Last Supper at the Discovery Lodge in Iqaluit, a group returned from a trip across Baffin Island. A tall fit looking man in his twenties asked, "Have you been this far North before?"
"No," I replied. "Well, let me give you a little advice. You will feel strange for at least two days, but stick with it. Once you've got over the first 48 hours you'll be fine. Let you body acclimatise. Don't panic. It will get a lot easier." He looked shattered. His group had endured 80 knot winds, minus 30, and didn't make it all the way across the National Park. After handing over their equipment to us they headed straight for the bar. The moment I saw my red sledge ouitside my bedroom door reality hit. Then came the sleeping bag, the skiis, the ski poles, the blow up mattress, the crampons...What was I doing? Another member of their team appeared outside our door. "Oh, yes, you should know there's a bear den in the Owl Valley." I laughed nervously. "Very funny," I said. "Are you taking a firearm?" he asked.

Arctic Fox

The mission on arrival was to buy some fur to sew onto our windproof jackets to protect our faces. After two planes in 24 hours I was feeling jaded and asked my brother to pop into town for me. The fact it looked like a blizzard was blowing had just a little to do with my decision plus the desire to preserve some energy for our expedition. Johnny returned red-faced. It turned out he had a severe allergic reaction to Arctic Fox. The moment he touched it he struggled to breathe and his face started to puff up. How was he to know he was allergic to Arctic Fox? Another member of the team kindly purchased a strip of white fur for me which I promised to keep well away from Johnny. The fact he and I are meant to be sharing a tent may pose a small problem. I will have to keep the fur well away from him as emergency services will not be easy to get hold of where we are going. That evening I sewed the fur around the hood of my red windproof jacket. As several member of the team have the same red windproofs it looks like we are attending a Fr Christmas Convention rather than going on a big league expedition.

Ice Cloud Fusion

On the flight from Ottawa to Iqaluit, Leanne bagged the window seat.
"Look, Louise, it's hard to tell the difference between the cloud and the ice now."
I peered out of the window to see clouds drifting down onto a mosaic of ice, clear blue sky above.
Nigel B piped up, "That is a lot of white. It doesn't look like the Pennine Way!" Nigel looked concerned. He admitted he hadn't been skiing before and hates the cold.
The previous night, while my fit room mate Susanna, told stories about her trips to the North Pole and Baffin Island, I felt a knot twist in my stomach. I worked out that the last time I had been skiing was ten years earlier in a rather swish French resort. As we walked out of Iqaluit airport it looked like we had landed in no man's land. This was no French ski resort. All I could make out were what looked like aluminium shacks. I took a deep breath. "I like the taste of the air," I said, trying not to slip on the ice. A sign for a shop caught my eye: Fantasy Parlour. I guess when it's this cold and remote people need to have fantasies.

Look Out it's an Ice Pack

As we approached Ottawa on the plane I looked out of the window like an excited little child. Blue skies stretching into the distance. I could hear Joni Mitchell singing 'Oh Canada' in my head. And there in the distance - 'My God,' I said. 'Look, Leanne, look at the pack ice!' I was jumping off my seat. Leanne peered out of the window, squinted, and turned to me, 'Louise, that's a big cloud!' She was right. I looked again and could make out the puffy clouds. I can only put this down to the fact that I've been reading so much about the Arctic that my brain is now filled with images of ice. However, this morning, we fly to Iqaluit and I'm pretty sure we will be flying over lots of ice. I can't wait...

Are You Hunting?

We arrived in Ottawa where we were met by some stern faced immigration officials. My brother, Johnny, was asked if he was giong hunting on Baffin. Admittedly, Johnny was dressed head to toe in black and looked like a member of the SAS. However, he wasn't the only member of our team to be interrogated about the purpose of his trip. Leanne was also asked the same question and taken to a room to be questioned further. We were also asked if we had packed any food! All our bags were weighed down with the contents of our munchy bags! We couldn't pack any more food if we had tried. Luckily, none of it was fresh so we were fine. If the chocolate police had been onto us then it would have been another story altogether.

Bound for Baffin

Today, I leave for Baffin. After all the preparations the day has arrived. Thank you to everyone who has wished me luck on my big adventure. This morning, half-asleep, rummaging through my post, I found a card from my older brother, Gordon, which said: "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your mind off your Goals." It was the perfect card to read at that moment. I had just found two informational sheets from the British Mountaineering Council - one on frostbite and the other on sun/wind protection.
I tried my Lady Jane last night - and it worked! I know it will be harder to pee into a bottle in a tent when I'm cold but, hey, I must keep my eye on the goal and not the obstacle!
I still have a few things to pack and the children's lunchboxes to make...then I will be leaving. I will try to blog when I'm away but it may be very hard as we can not use mobile phones across Baffin Island. I promise to report back in detail on my return. My friend, Alice, suggested I buy a tinted lipstick with sun protection at Heathrow as she thought it would do Arctic Belle some good while trudging across the ice. Nothing like a decent lippy to keep your spirits up. So, farewell my friends - off to the Arctic I go.

Warmest Jacket In The World

I thought I ought to try on kit the night before I depart for the Arctic just to check that it fits. I got into a right sweat! So many layers I lost count. For the finale I put on the Gold puffa jacket and red all in one windproof. Picture the Michelin Man times three. I tried to walk but nearly tripped over. Lara took one look at me and rolled her eyes. 'How embarrassing!' she said.
'Mortifying!' Joe added. It was the first time I had heard him use the word. Once I'd managed to get it all off without any tears, I looked up the details for the puffa or expedition jacket. 'Down filled double construction jacket with box outer wall and a stitch through baffled inner. The Pertex Endurance outer gives weatherproof protection.' Now, that is excellent, I thought. Just what I need. Weather protection. I continued reading: 'Probably the warmest jacket available in the world today...this highly specified jacket has what it takes to provide elemental protection for the most extreme conditions.' So, for all those concerned about my kit please rest assured that I am well kitted out. I now have four pairs of gloves, three or four hats, loads of Hally Hansen thermals and fleeces. I've even got a balaclava. I will look ridiculous but I'm not off on a fashion assignment, this is an Arctic expedition. However, if any fashion designers would like to give me a makeover on my return then that would be marvellous. After wearing all this kit for ten days I think I will need a bit of a boost on the self-image front. I have been told I will lose weight as we will be burning up 6000 calaories a day. For every pound lost I, and my fellow travellers, will donate £10 to the Mitchemp Trust. They could be in for a windfall.

Rock Solid

My brother suggested I pop my Facial Cleansing Wipes and Feminine Wipes (don't ask) in the freezer overnight. Bearing in mind the temperature in the freezer (minus 18) isn't as cold as where we are heading (minus 30) this was a rather handy hint. I have just pulled out the Wipes and attempted to open both packs. Rock Solid. Can I try and pull a single wipe out of either pack? No. I bashed the pack against the wooden kitchen surface. Just like a block of ice. My brother said that I would be wearing four pairs of gloves in the Arctic so if I couldn't do it with my bare hands then what hope had I? I told him that I had just bought some baby wipes (two for the price of one) so I'd pop one pack of those in the freezer. I pray I will be able to use them. My brother has also asked if I have practised using my portable pee bottle - the Lady Jane and Little John? I have kept meaning to try them but, somehow, more important things keep cropping up, like buying more chocolate and heat warmers in the event of any muscle strain. He pointed out that it was a High Priority for me to check out my Lady Jane and advised me to try it at my earliest convenience. I guess I better give it a go. My daughter was not impressed with the Lady Jane and gave me that look which said, 'I wish I had a normal Mum!'

Arctic Hare

We are likely to spot Arctic Hare bobbing around on Baffin Island which will be rather good with Easter just around the corner. However, while I would like to see a white hare dashing across the ice I am rather more concerned as to the state of my own hair. For those interested in the nitty gritty details of Arctic life then I need to be truthful and say that I will not be able to wash my hair for at least 10 days. I have washed my hair every morning for as long as I can remember so this will be a tall order. While we are on the subject of washing then I ought to add that I will not be able to wash my body for the same amount of time. At present, I have a shower every morning. The hair issue has thrown up quite a few oddities. My hairdresser suggested I wear a turban, apparently all the rage this spring/summer. Even Madonna has launched her own range. Another friend mentioned the possibility of getting my hair braided prior to the trip to avoid the embarrasmment of greasy lanks. Another reminded me of that disgusting dried shampoo which I used as a student. Hmmm. Not a good look. The good news is I have bought three hats! One Windy Took - described as waterproof, windproof, breathable. One Hot Took - Windproof and Breathable and one Mountain Cap - Fleece lining with a Peak. Not only are these hats very comfortable and warm, they will also cover up all greasy strands. In reality, I imagine lanky hair is the least of my worries and that everyone else will be too self-absorbed to notice any bad hair days. Let's be honest. Every day will be a bad hair day. I had thought about getting it all cut off but I didn't have the courage. Even I acknowledge that one shouldn't go bald in the Arctic. Brrrr...

Maternal Meltdown

Just three days to go and I have been busy working out the itinerary. Not mine, but the kids. I have written a long list outlining where they are meant to be, at what time and who will be looking after them. This is complicated by factors such as drama shows, swimming lessons, cubs, tennis etc. How can two children do so much in so few days? At least they will be so busy they won't have too much time to think about me. I hope. When I mentioned to Lara's teacher that I was off to the Arctic next week he looked at me as if to say, 'No problem, she'll be fine!' The good thing about Lara's teacher is he is a champion snowboarder, or so she tells me, so he has an affinity with snow. Meanwhile, for Mother's Day, my five year-old, Joe, dictated a poignant card saying how much he'd miss me while I'm on 'my trip' and that he wanted to give me a present to show how much he loved me. He also said he'd take a photo of me when he goes on holiday and look at it when he's sad. I have asked Lara to do a Diary from Dubai while I'm writing mine in the Arctic so we can compare them when we get back. I started off by saying, I'll be writing something like, 'I'm in the tent and there is ice inside. I've walked a long way today and fancy a cup of tea.' She said, 'Mum, you need to give more detail!' She is a hard taskmaster. I didn't want to say, 'I can't feel my little toe and think I've got frostbite. I wish I was sat in front of a lovely log fire, toasting marshmallows!' I imagine when you are in the High Arctic and its minus 30 or so you start to fantastise about such things - but I shall keep you posted. One thing I have been fantasting about is a Hot Water Bottle...

Munchy Bags

I've been out shopping for the contents of my Munchy Bags. For those who don't know, a Munchy Bag is what we munch on during each day of the trek. Every hour, we stop, dip into our Munchy Bags, scoff as much as we want, and then move on. So, what do you put in your MB? Firstly, it has to be highly calorific and secondly, very tasty. It must also weigh about 500 gms. That's a lot of food! I wasn't sure where to shop. M & S? Treat myself to their lovely goodies. A health food shop or adventure specialist? In the end, I found my eyes drawn to a health food type shop with a Clearance Sale advertising 'Everything Half Price'. I grabbed a basket and found myself going ever so slightly mad. I bought the following: roasted and salted cashew nuts (500g); sunset mix (500g); salty rice cookies (175g x 2 packs); crystallised fruit mix (500g); milk chocolate coated brazil nuts (400g x 2 packs); honey roasted peanuts (250g x 2 packs); macadamias, raisins & cranberries (250g). The basket was overflowing and my back was beginning to ache. The woman at the check out looked at me as if I suffered from an eating disorder. I suspect she thought I was bulimic as I certainly don't look anorexic. When I got home I realised that I had not bought enough. Luckily, my friends came round in the evening with loads of food including a chocolate brandy cream cake which was home made and deliciously calorific. It is all a question of eating as many calories as possible. I do realise this but, when you've been brought up to count calories in a diet ridden age it's quite hard to change the habit of a life time. I've got just five days to bulk up and I'm going to do my best, I promise. For once, I'm not going to count how many calories are in a chocolate bar, I'm simply going to enjoy it. How wonderful is that!

Polar Bear Alert

It's only one week to go now. Today, I woke up thinking, or rather, worrying, about Polar Bears. We have been told by the organiser that we are unlikely to see any Polar Bears in the Auyuittuq National Park but, being the investigative journalist that I am, I have been doing some research. Firstly, I decided to call the Hunters' Association in Pangnirtung (our destination) and spoke to a very nice hunter who told me that they had shot a Polar Bear the day before. I was, infact, calling the Association to find out how Climate Change had affected their lives but he just dropped into his answer this little bombshell about the Polar Bear. I then asked him how cold it was and he said -30, colder than last year. I definitely need to find some thermal knickers. I'm sure I was told it would only be - 10! Despite the cold, I carried on with my research into Polar Bears. I found an old story about a group who went to Baffin Island and were warned that there was a Polar Bear roaming around the Auyuittuq National Park. They were advised to sleep in huts in the park which are located every ten miles or so. They didn't get to meet the Polar Bear but they did get so cold they couldn't even wee outside. Instead, they used their rehydrated food bags to wee in. In the morning they woke to a bag of frozen urine. Thank God I've got my Little John and Lady Jane pee bottles! I bought a lovely DVD starring that handsome chap, Ewan McGregor, all about Polar Bears. Some people watch romantic comedies at night. It just shows how much this forthcoming trip is affecting me. Next, I will report on what I need to do if I do encounter a Polar Bear. Thanks to Ray Mears I am reading up on the best tactics. My natural instint may be to run but I have a sneaking suspicion I may just freeze.

Bridget Jones Knickers and Knockers

I worked hard all day and ate as much chocolate as I could manage in preparation for my trip to Baffin. Just over a week to go so thought I ought to up the calories. By several thousand! It got to that point in the afternoon when I could take no more and decided I had to confront the big knicker issue. I have most of the kit but when it comes to thermal underwear I am sorely lacking. I didn't want to ask the alpha males going on the trip. 'What knickers should I take?' From the sounds of it the men wear one pair of pants for ten days. They say this is something to do with 'saving weight'. Anyway, I had heard that such things as thermal knickers and bras exist. I head into town and found myself roaming around the lingerie section of John Lewis. Now, as we all know, John lewis is a reputable department store with a large lingerie department. But do they stock thermal underwear? No. "We have thermal vests," the sales lady said. "But have you any thermal knickers?" I asked. She looked at me as if I was mad. I couldn't face saying I was off to the Arctic so I lied and said I was going skiing. "I'm sure you'll be okay in these cotton ones," she pointed to a very large pair of cotton panties. It's all very well for a sales assistant to say they think you'll be okay, but it's another matter if you freeze your butt. They were large, very large. I thought of Bridget Jones and that maybe it would be better to take one pair, like the men, than nothing at all. I put them in my basket. "Do you stock thermal bras?" I asked. "No, I'm sorry, we've got thermal vests and long johns but that's it. How about a Shock Absorber?" She held up a very large sports bra. "They are very supportive and as they are cotton they are good in the cold."
Hmm. I need a thermal bra, not just because it's cold, but because it's freezing. Minus 30. However, this Shock Absorber looled like it would cover all my chest - and more - so maybe this was better than nothing. The sales assistant came into the cubicle with me and played around with the straps. " It's a perfect fit, madam." I looked at myself in the mirror and nearly cried. It was so ... big ... and ugly. "It will give great support," she said with a smile on her face. Well, there's one thing I need in the Arctic and that's SUPPORT. I popped two Shock Absorbers into the basket and made my way to the checkout, passing all the pretty lingerie on the way. Now I know just how Bridget Jones must have felt.

Little John

Today, the postman delivered a special package: two Little Johns. Nothing saucy. These are portable urinals which were recommended we take on our trip across Baffin. They are red plastic bottles with a lid, ideal for male arctic explorers, who get caught short in the middle of the night in their cosy tents and don't fancy nipping outside in minus 40.
I had already ordered two Lady Jane's - the 'female adaptor' that goes on top of the Little John. but quickly discovered that a Lady Jane is useless without a Little John. Now I have two of each, one set for myself and another set for a fellow female traveller. I have been advised to practise using my Little John and Lady Jane before I go but think I'll give it a miss. Thereagain, if I miss my Lane Jane in my sleeping bag in the middle of the night it will be no laughing matter.
To cheer myself up, I checked today's temperatures on Baffin. If it's not too cold then maybe I'll nip out of the tent in my thermals and relieve myself. Perhaps I can even enjoy staring up at the stars? After clicking on the weather information, I don't think star gazing will be an option. The temperature in Qikiqtarjuaq (where we are heading) is minus 18, windchill minus 32, blizzards forecast. Brrrrr.

Chilly Chops

From tomorrow, I will be able to say 'I'm going to the Arctic next week!' Only ten days to go before I pack my bags, say farewell to my two children and head for Baffin Island. Today, Mothers Day, I have been spoilt with a delicious Sunday Roast and trifle at my Mum's. In the Arctic I will be surviving on strange dried foods. God help me. Why am I doing it? Climate change? Stunning scenery? Who knows. We've been warned that the weather in the UK will turn nasty this week thanks to Arctic winds. Today, I went for a walk and was battered by hailstorms. My fingers went yellow and nose nearly dropped off. But it's minus 30 on Baffin Island right now - which means my fingers will become ice pops in seconds. Hey ho. It's all a very big adventure. And if I get to see one just Arctic Hare, or, dare I say it, a Polar Bear, it will all have been worth it. I think...

Arctic versus Dubai

My husband is a tad surprised about my Arctic assignment but comes round to the idea when he knows a) my big brother will be there to protect me and b) that I can sort childcare out. The first week the children will be at school and the second week is the beginning of the Easter holidays. Within 48 hours he has booked a 5 star holiday for him and the kids to Dubai where he has some business interests. Joe is so excited he packs his bag immediately. I decide it’s time to tell Lara that while she is in sunny Dubai I will be in the Arctic. She has watched a children’s programme called ‘Arctic Diaries’ and her reaction is cool. Very cool. Later, I ask if she is okay, wondering whether she’ll say she might miss me.
Lara has strawberry blonde hair and pale skin. “I’m worried I’ll get too hot in Dubai and you’ll be too cold in the Arctic. Your fingers go yellow when we go out in Kingston. What will happen to them when you’re in the Arctic?”
Lara is a bright child. I try to reassure her. Later that evening I check out the temperatures of our respective destinations:

Dubai: 30 degrees plus
Baffin Island: minus 30

I was going to wait until nearer the time to tell Joe but, somehow, the news gets out. I try to excite him by showing him a picture of a polar bear.
“Will it be very cold Mummy?” he asks.
“Yes, but I’ll be wrapped up warm.”
“Are you going to die?” he asks, puppy dog eyes looking up at me.

Fit and Unfit

In one of those weird twists of fate my older brother, Johnny, a senior police officer, decides to sign up for the trip. He is very fit, goes skiing regularly, and is always entering running competitions like The Great North Run and The London Marathon. When I mention to Johnny I’ve been invited on the trip he thinks it’s ‘a great opportunity’. Like everyone else, he says I’ll have to ‘Bulk up’. If anyone says that to me again I will tell them to ‘Shut Up’ but, I guess, he’s just thinking of my welfare.
However, he is not so sure quite what our parents will think. “Fifty per cent of their offspring will be in the Arctic!” he laughs.
Luckily, I have another brother and sister in Britain where I have just heard we are on high security alert.
“Johnny, given all your experience in the force, do you really think it’s more dangerous where we’re going than staying in Britain?”
He has dealt with a few nasty murders and hit men cases in his time.
He shakes his head.
“The dangers will be very different where we’re going.”
At least he can bring my Ashes back.
Our parents, meanwhile, have had a dispute over whether we are travelling to the Arctic or Antarctic. My mother, a former nurse, has her own tip for me. “You should start taking some Complan to build yourself up.”
Like a good daughter I dutifully check out some Complan products and discover that their ‘Shakes’ are for ‘patients at risk of disease related malnutrition’.

Mixed Reactions

Once I make the decision to go I am met with a bizarre mix of responses.
The most alarming is stunned silence. The temperature in the room drops to below zero when I explain to family friends that I’m going to the Arctic. People look at me as if I’m mad. I might just as well have said I’m going to Mars.
“Why are you going?” one asks.
“I’ll be on assignment,” I explain. One raises his eyebrow and laughs. I find this offensive and quickly change the subject. “So, where are you off to on your holiday this Easter?” I ask.
When I tell my girlfriend on the phone that I’ll be dragging a sledge for ten hours a day there is a long pause.
“I don’t mean to be rude, but are you sure you’re up to it?” she asks.
“I’ve started training.”
“What are you doing then?” she asks.
“Going for walks in Richmond Park.”
“Walks? Don’t you need to do a little more than that?”
“Not at the moment. I’ve been told to start off by walking in the park.”
“Don’t you need to go down the gym?”
I hate gyms. I am a member of a gym but haven’t entered the fitness section since, well, I can’t remember. I do go swimming, though.
My friend persists in her questioning about my polar challenge.
“How many days did you say you were walking across snow for?
“Eleven”
“Eleven?” she screams. “You’ll lose loads of weight, but you haven’t got much to lose.”
“Well, I have been told to ‘bulk up’.”
“Yes, you should tuck into some full English breakfasts. Eat lots of pasta. How’s your back?”
This is a sore point – one I wished to avoid. I was diagnosed with a tilted pelvis several months ago after intermittent pain in my left hip. However, a firm-handed German osteopath tilted it back and now it’s back to normal.
“It’s great, no problem.”
“Yeah, but didn’t you say something about dragging a sledge?”
“It won’t weigh more than the children and I’ve been carrying them around for ten years!” Joe weighs three and a half stone and he’s often jumping on me – hence the titled pelvis.
She sounds unconvinced and before I know it the subject turns to where I’d like my Ashes scattered.

Polar Positives

So why go on an Arctic Adventure?
Satisfaction – I’m told you feel great satisfaction from joining the ‘Big Boys’ League of Expeditions’. To be honest, I’d be pleased if I managed to walk an hour a day - without a sledge. But it takes all sorts. Mainly Alpha Males, I imagine.
The Menopause – Let me make it clear, I am not approaching the menopause (I am only 41). But when men reach a certain age they desire to do something different with their lives. Some buy motorbikes, some choose expensive cars, some date younger women. Others escape to the wilderness. There are nine men and four women going on this trip. Sounds like there will be a lot of hormones flying around.
Losing Weight – I am told that I will lose between 7lbs and 10 lbs. Although I’m not fat I would be thrilled to lose half a stone. What woman wouldn’t? And what good timing. The mini is back in vogue this Spring and I will return in time to sport toned thighs. I’m not sure whether a woman over 40 should wear a mini but, at least, I’ll feel happy to wear a skirt (after a leg wax, pedicure and holiday in sunny climes, of course)
Eat What You Want – Trekkers prepare a ‘munchy bag’ for each day. This contains favourite energy giving calorific foods. In short, you can eat as much chocolate as you want without getting fat or feeling guilty. Bliss. Perhaps Weight Watchers should advertise such trips?
No Mobiles – There will be a satellite phone held by the group leader so in the event of any emergencies you can be contacted. I’m never parted from my mobile but imagine it might give my brain cells a break.
Spectacular Scenery - The trip is described as ‘an Arctic wilderness of jagged mountain peaks, deep valleys, steep walled fjords and eternal glacial ice’.
Character Test - ‘We aim to guide you towards becoming the kind of person that every team wants’.

I’m nervous. I will be the novice of the group. The smallest. Shall I go? What’s stopping me? Fear. Being Frozen. Frostbite.

Polar Risks

The research on Climate Change has made me think. Rather than looking on this trip as an SAS style Survival Challenge (Will I, or won’t I, survive the freezing temperatures?) I should perhaps be thinking more in global terms. The University of Toronto is planning a major weather research expedition to Baffin Island in 2007.
Instead of reading about Climate Change from the comfort of my own home, I should be looking on this trip as an opportunity to find out how the local communities are coping. The idea of doing interviews and gathering data from the research station appeals. But I can’t do this if I’m frozen cold trying to drag a sledge across a non-populated area such as Auyuittuk National Park. I have be realistic.
I suspect my best chance of talking to the locals will be at the beginning - before I’ve embarked on the biggest physical (and mental) challenge of my life.

Polar Risks include:

· Cold temperatures ie. sub-zero - up to minus 40
· Wind chill factor - ffreezing, inability to move
· Hypothermia - shivering, possible death
· Frostbite and loss of digits - my fingers go yellow when I go for a walk in Richmond Park. What will happen to them in the Arctic?
· Polar bears - I love that cuddly one in Raymond Brigg’s Walking On The Snow, but I don’t like the look of them when they turn nasty
· Thin Ice - Don’t want to die this way
· Bulking Up - Put on weight before the trip – and then not lose it
· Losing too much weight - A girl’s dream. Is this a terrible risk?
· Physical training - going for a walk in Richmond Park and getting attacked by a nutter. Ever since a cyclist was murdered in the park last year I’ve found myself constantly looking behind me to check for weirdoes.
· Catching the Yukon Bug - You love it so much you want to go back

Nature Calls

At least Glastonbury has toilet facilities. In the Arctic, it’s back to nature. You dig a hole in the ice with a shovel, squat and pray you don’t get a frost bitten bum or attacked by a polar bear. All of a sudden, those portaloos seem like luxury.
There is also a device called a ‘pee bottle’ that women are advised to buy in order to wee in it in their sleeping bag at night. This avoids freezing outside at some unearthly hour. But what happens if you miss the bottle?

Before I dismiss the trip as a ludicrous idea I do some research. I’m sure that for many people the opportunity to go to the Arctic is a ‘Trip of a Lifetime’.
I have read all about Climate Change and the disappearing sea ice. This might well be my only opportunity to go to the Arctic. Shouldn’t I grab it?
The Arctic is certainly not high on my list of family holiday destinations. For the past nine years every Easter we have gone to stay near Dartmouth in Devon. I’m not sure what reaction I’d get if I said, ‘Change of plan this year. Fancy trekking 120 miles across ice this Easter?’

I google Baffin Island and here are some of the key facts I discover:

The island is one of several Arctic ‘hot spots’ . This is an area where the temperature has risen, on average, a degree Celcius per decade.
Sea ice is disappearing from the waters around Baffin Island nearly four times as fast as the rest of the Arctic.
Canadian activist Sheila Watt-Cloutier, from Iqaluit, Baffin Island, has just been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for raising awareness about global warming and how it affects the local Inuit population. She puts a human face on the devastation being wrought by global warming. She said, “Inuit and other northerners are already experiencing the direct impact of human-induced climate-change, and we face dramatic problems with possible social and cultural dislocation in coming years.”
The warmer weather has been blamed for a growing number of deaths in Nunavut, as hunters fall through ice that was once stable.
I imagine putting my foot into the icy waters and the sledge dragging me down to the bottom of the ocean. Not a good way to go.

Sledging It

It turns out that the park is Auyuittuq National Park (try pronouncing that after a drink or two) and the walk is a ten hour daily hike for 11 days dragging a sledge: 120 miles in total. I once did a 10 mile sponsored walk, but that was over 20 years ago. The farthest I walk these days is from the car to my house. I have never dragged a sledge in my life. I haven’t been skiing for ten years. And if I’m honest, I don’t like the cold.
The other problem with this ‘little walk in the park’ is the sleeping arrangements. There are no five star hotels in the Auyuittuk National Park. Instead, every night, the group ‘makes camp’ which means sharing a tent with a bunch of shattered strangers. This is where I have to own up. I am the most unlikely camper. Ever since having children I have made a point of never going on family camping holidays. My argument? A decent bed is all I want after running around after two active little ones all day. The last time I slept in a tent was at Glastonbury Festival in the mid-nineties when, as a music journalist, I had a backstage pass and an interview with Johnny Cash. I have a sneaking suspicion that camping in the Arctic will be a very different experience: there will be no mud, no veggie burgers and no portaloos

A Walk In The Park

I have been invited on a trip to Baffin Island.
I haven’t got a clue where it is.
“Where exactly is it?” I ask.
“An Arctic island off Canada. It’s just a little walk in the park. Why don’t you come along as the journalist?”
My immediate thought is, ‘Impossible. I have two young children – Joe, age 5, and Lara, age 9. The longest I have been away from them is for a weekend.’ I imagine my little boy’s face, creased up in tears, clinging to me at the airport, screaming, ‘Don’t Go, Mummy!’ My pre-teen daughter would no doubt stamp her foot in a strop, ‘It’s so unfair. Why do you get to go on holiday and we have to stay in this dump?’
Home is a Victorian house in Kingston-upon-Thames, Surrey, near Richmond Park. It is NOT a dump. Admittedly, our once quiet street has become a dumping ground for cars since residential parking was introduced in the adjacent roads - but that’s another matter altogether.

That night I dig out the atlas and look up Baffin Island. The only name I recognise near the Island is Greenland. I shiver just thinking about the place. I once interviewed Kari Herbert, daughter of polar explorer, Wally Herbert, about growing up in a hut in Greenland. Her family lived among Polar Inuit hunters in sub zero temperatures and she ate seal for tea. Would I see any seals on Baffin Island? And what, more importantly, do people eat on Baffin Island?